I haven't worked much at all on my voice.  I downloaded that Kathe Perez program and did it for about a week, but being disciplined isn't one of my strongest qualities. I went to a couple lessons at the voice clinic at GWU, but that interfered with work too much, so I had to bag it.  So, like everything else with my transition, I decided that I'd figure it out when the time came.  The voice has gotten better over time, just through using it, through training myself to talk "up" instead of down in my throat.  But, I've always thought of my voice as the voice of a rather pathetic-sounding male; at least, that's what it has sounded like when I've heard it.  It never causes me problems, never causes me to be clocked, but I never understood why.  My therapist told me that I wasn't hearing what she was, that the whole package, the enunciation, pitch fluctuation, gestures, etc., says female.  I dunno.  I didn't see it.

Annnnnnnyway, the other night I called a friend, a trans friend, and got her voice message.  After I hung up, I decided to record one of my own; I've been using the robotic-sounding pre-recorded greeting that AT&T provides for quite some time now.  So I recorded my little message.  Cringing in anticipation of the certain assault on my ears which was to follow, I hit the pound key to play it back to see how bad it sounded...

... and Oh. My. God.  What I heard, telling me that Faline wasn't able to come to the phone, and could you please leave a message, and thanks, bye!!! was some woman's voice.  This was not my voice.  It did not resemble the voice that I hear when I talk.  Is this what other people hear?  Wow.  I played it again.  And again.  And again.  I could not believe this was my voice.  I recorded it a second time with a little more inflection to see if this was just a fluke, and whaddya know, it sounded even better.

For the rest of the evening, I sat around the house and talked to the walls, the pictures, any inanimate object which would listen.  I had quite a captive audience.  I felt so excited, like Dory in Finding Nemo when she remembered P. Sherman's address and repeated it over, and over, and over.  All I wanted to do was talk and talk and talk.  So that's what I did.  Now that I have some confidence when it comes to my voice, hopefully that will help with meeting new people and making friends.  At this point, my transition is mostly about confidence.

6 comments:

I think voice might be the hardest part of transition, and the one no one wants to work on. Some give up. But sometimes if you know what you need to do, just using your voice can work in a way similar to actual practice. I have to admit I did a lot more practising "in the field" than real work. Great that you are feeling more confident in your voice!

That's a great analogy to Dory in Finding Nemo ( a terrific movie ). I am very happy you are having an up time for a change. You have sounded so low for awhile lately. I will continue to pray for you and especially for your voice. Now, go out and start talking to more men.

Many Blessings, Prayers, and Hugs

Faline, even when you write you sound female. Why should you not when you speak.

YES !!! Faline. WAY TO GO ! Stay after it. You will get there...and he WILL find YOU.

Anne

Love finding Nemo, I can tell you have kids (: we've watched it a 1000 times.

I've heard your voice, and I think it sounds completely natural, and quite beautiful. Knowing how much I had to practice, I can only say wow. You should be proud and confident!

Funny, I've looked at the lessons on youtube and stuff and it always seemed to difficult.

What I do the most is sing in the car with my iPod and just practice how I think it should sound. Anyway, after reading your post I thought I'd record myself and see how bad I was (I've never done the whole "record and actually practice" thing). The results, not bad in fact, pretty good! I think I'd call female.(surprises me)

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