accept. embrace. live.

So for years and years, probably 15 or so, ever since I was aware of its' existence, I've wanted to try HRT. Have been talking about it with my therapist for the last couple of appointments, and talked about it a lot last night. It's a big decision in the sense that changes a lot of things, but it doesn't seem like a hard decision. I know 100%, that if I never try HRT, to see if it is right for me, I will always regret it. And that's not to say that I am considering it an experiment. I would be stunned if somehow I felt worse on hormones. I want all the mental and physical changes that come along with them... I believe that it will help mitigate this brain vs. body disconnect that I have. The internal debate, the thing that has been holding me back, is "how will this effect my relationships with other people?" And that's a question I can't answer, and even if I could, I don't think it would change my ultimate decision on this.

I asked her if she thought there was anything else I needed to think about, or another place I needed to get to, before she thought I was "ready." She mentioned a couple of situations that I'd need to figure out how to handle, but nothing in terms of readiness. Which means if at the next appointment, if I ask for the letter, I'll get it. With the Xmas holidays coming up, my next appointment isn't for a month. Which will give me a month to really make sure this is what I want.

I left and the last thing I said was, "well, I have a month to consider this... I can't imagine what would change," and she said, "well, I can't, either." I'm fairly certain right now, that it is. I drove home from my appointment with a very warm and happy feeling last night, was kind of hard to describe. I think I could have asked for the letter last night... but there is no need to rush. She's worked with literallly hundreds of TG people in various stages... if she didn't think it was a good idea for me, she wouldn't be giving me this letter.

By the time I actually start taking them, wouldn't be surprised if it was at least two or three months, with doc appointments and all. But it's pretty exciting.