accept. embrace. live.

Went to the GIG in Baltimore last night... got dressed at home, drove up there as Faline. I took a couple pictures at home, many of which I were very pleased with, and in fact, is my avatar here. First picture I've taken that I looked at, and actually thought I looked kind of pretty. That gave me a little boost of confidence, going up there, meeting all new people. A couple I had talked to on PE, or seen at MAGIC, but no one I really knew. I kept looking at myself in the vanity mirror on the way up, and I really liked the way I look. For better or for worse, the appearance thing is important to me.

Anyway, I enjoyed the group... seemed much less heavy than the other group that I have attended... I will definitely be going back. I even contributed a little bit. I felt welcomed and accepted. Didn't expect otherwise, but nonetheless, a good feeling. The group goes out to dinner afterwards at a place a few blocks away. So we all walk over and are chatting, head into the place, sit down, chat a little more, and all of a sudden it occurs to me, that this is the first time I've been out in public with my wig, as Faline.

And it didn't really feel any different, or strange, or self-conscious, or anything. The first group I attended en femme, I felt like I was pretending to be something or someone I was not... didn't feel that way at all last night. It felt like "me," which was terrific. Something which at times so far, has been elusive in this process. After the meeting, many of the group went to dance, but I had a good ride back to VA, and it was well past midnight, so I headed out. Next time I'll go to the Hippo, or whatever it is, and wear something a little cuter. maybe even a skirt.

I can't wait to go out again. My feeling is that the more I go out, the more I will want to go out, as I get more and more comfortable with my presentation. When I get the voice stuff taken care of, it could be game over.

I *think* that's a good thing.

P.S. I didn't wear my purple pants and sweater. I think I need to bag the turtleneck sweaters... I definitely wear them to hide things. I am tired of hiding things.