The first morning, I went out to breakfast with a group of local triathlon friends; it was nice to see everyone, and it was a great way to start off the "first day of work." I went to work, and it was really just another day. We mostly sit in our cubes and write software all day, with the occasional meeting. Monday, I sat in my cube and wrote software all day, and we had a meeting. I didn't perceive that anyone treated me any differently than any other day, save for one of the guys on the team holding the door for me after we had our team meeting. The one thing that *was* palpable to me, was the lack of interaction with other people. It bugged me. I never minded that before. What will be interesting to see, is if it bugged me because it was my first day, and I was seeking interaction to validate things, or, if I my mindset has changed. I seriously believe it is the second. I want to be more social than I've been.
The rest of the week was similar. On Wednesday, we had a meeting with the other three developers, and things felt the same. I was still the funny one on the team, they still laughed quite a bit at my nonsense, and I contributed to the meeting just as always. By the end of that day, things felt completely normal to me. Unfortunately, "normal" in the context of my project means we pretty much talk only when necessary... it's a bunch of techie guys. All good, kind people, just not very chatty. I wish there was another woman on my team. Speaking of other women, with respect to the other women in the office, before last week, I would pass one in the hall, or the kitchen, and they wouldn't say hello, smile, etc. Which makes sense... one doesn't walk around smiling and greeting every guy (that you don't know) that she sees. This week, it was different. Smiles and hellos galore from the other women on the floor. Got a couple compliments on my hair. I can't imagine that they're not aware that I am the transgender person on the floor, but I don't really care. I think I'd rather that people just knew. At any rate, hopefully I can make friends with some of the other women and have someone to go to lunch with.
After my first day at work, I went to Trader Joe's, came home, made cookies for the kids, and went to bed. It was nice to be able to go straight to the store without having to go home and change clothes first. It was nice not to have to leave my purse in the car when I got to work. It was very nice to take off that $%(*?&@! bra when I got home, and exponentially nicer not to have to use the men's room anymore. It's nice to be myself all the time.
In my last blog entry, I wrote something like "I don't think it is going to be anything spectacular..." and it wasn't. Of course, and I hadn't thought of this when I used the word "spectacular", was that a few months back, I wrote an entry titled "mundane = spectacular."
Hmmm... I guess it was a pretty spectacular week after all!!!
4 comments:
It does not matter who or what you are! The first day, the first week at a new job always sucks. The fact that you are a different person now, more outgoing, does not change that. People are going to be standoffish towards the new person for a while until they get used to them. It happens to everyone!
When you could go to the store without going home to change first, not leave your purse in the car, and using the women's restroom. Getting to be the real you. That, my friend, is
SPECTACULAR!!
Good for you!!! I still have to do all of the above. I am so jealous!
Congrats on your spectacularly ordinary first week at work! It sounds like things are shaping up very well for you. It also sounds a lot like my own first week (except I work with more women, and spend a bit less time working solo in my cube).
One thing I found about the "silent treatment" over time is that a lot of it was due to nervousness on the part of my co-workers. Over the next few weeks this gradually relaxed until they were treating me like... if not exactly one of the girls yet, a normal co-worker who is perhaps easier to talk to than before.
Please keep us updated here so we can compare experiences. :-)
Congrats on your first week, it must be so very liberating to live as yourself.. can't wait to get there myself. Seems like everyone's going FT!
~Keri
#1: you look amazing! Super cute outfit.
#2: I'm super jealous that your hair looks so much better than mine...bitch :) (j/k)!!!!
#3: I'm proud of you.
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