In therapy the other night, my therapist said a few things that make me think the she thinks I am a transsexual, or am going to transition. A couple examples.

  • she encouraged me to start working on a letter to my sister... I've expressed a couple times that I want to talk to her about this, but don't know what I'd say that I *am*.
  • she encouraged me to suggest to a great friend (who knows) that she call me Faline.
  • I said something about my kind-of-changing appearance & my family and she said something like, "well, they are seeing a beautiful woman."

I can't tell if she is encouraging me in these ways because she thinks it would be good for me to explore, or because in the few sessions we've had, she thinks that I am at heart, a trans woman. I'm scared that she thinks I am a trans woman, and I'm more scared that she's right. Fuck.

Obviously I need to discuss this with her... the thing is, all those things above... I like. I like the idea of sharing this with my sister, and I like the idea of friends calling me Faline, but at the same time, am terrified to do either of them, and don't want to be pushed into doing them, before I am ready. Once I cross that line with my sister, I can't ever take it back... regardless of where this ends up, it'll always be out there.


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When I transitioned, there just weren't too many blogs out there written by straight, transitioned women. Well, here's one.

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