Thinking and wondering... do I really have gender identity disorder? Let's see. The diagnostic criteria are...

1. Strong and persistent cross-gender identification
Been cross-dressing in one way, shape or form since I was 6. It has ebbed and flowed, but it has been pretty much a constant in my life. And at times, it has been very strong. Check.

2. Persistent discomfort about one's assigned sex or a sense of inappropriateness in the gender-role of that sex
I've always felt more comfortable around women. I don't think I've ever really felt like one of the guys. My close friends have pretty much all been women. When, especially lately, I am around guys sharing "war stories" about women, the first thought that comes to my mind is "Pigs." Discomfort? Perhaps. I have a discomfort with my male body. I don't hate it, but there are things I'd like to change about it. Personality-wise, I kind there is some discomfort in the fact that I can't really "let myself go," like restraining certain innate characteristics. Check, kind of.

3. The diagnosis is not made if the individual has a concurrent physical intersex condition.
I don't have Kleinfelter's, nor am I a hermaphrodite. Check.

4. Clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
This one is hard to say. I don't think I can honestly say I've ever felt 100% happy, or content. I definitely think there have been times where I have isolated myself because of this... the gender stuff definitely impacted the dissolution (albeit indirectly) of my marriage. There were many times when I would wait for my wife to fall asleep and I'd then sneak out of the house and go driving cross-dressed... end up getting only 2-3 hours of sleep, for example. I ran up about $20,000 in credit card debt when I first started working, mostly by buying women's clothing, purging, and repeating. There have been times when I have been obsessed with gender stuff. In college, during Senior Week, my friends all lived in townhouses, I lived in the dorms. During that week, all the underclassmen were gone and I was literally the only one in the dorm. I didn't go to any Senior Week stuff... I isolated myself in the dorm and cross-dressed all week. I've done some things that I am not very proud of, trying to express this other side of me... in a way that is not healthy. Not sure if any or all of this is "clinically significant distress," or not.

Might be a case where the whole is greater than the sum of its' parts. Meaning when I look back at all the crap in my life caused by this, I think it is significant. Check?

So, I am pretty sure that I have GID. Like, 90% sure.


reading your blog is like reading the inside of my mtf 22yrolds head!!!
jsut read the line about thinking men are pigs the way they talk about women,my child felt this from highschool.

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When I transitioned, there just weren't too many blogs out there written by straight, transitioned women. Well, here's one.

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