accept. embrace. live.

Back in March I wrote a post about being "over the wig." I didn't want to have to wear it anymore, but I felt like I needed it to pass. My hair is now around 5" long all around, and the last couple times I got ready to go out, I thought, "ohhhh, I am thisclose to being able to try going out without it.

Last night I went out with my friend Traci and was talking about it, and she was very encouraging... "well, just go out without it!!" she said. I hemmed and hawed and replied, "Maybe when my hair is another inch or two longer. Then it will be OK."

I thought about it more this morning and decided that was a cop-out, and tonight at support group, I'd go without the wig and see how it felt. Support group is safe. One won't get any looks there. 100% comfortable. So I got ready, blow-dried my hair for the first time in probably 20 years, put tons of various goop in it, and was pleased with how it turned out. I took a picture and uploaded it to Facebook.  I love this picture.  I look so happy, so sweet.  We have some gray hair to take care of and this is the first time I tried to do my (real) hair in a feminine manner... but I thought I looked pretty cute!  You won't see a male picture of me with a smile like that on it.

So off I went to group.  It's about an 1:15 drive, and there was an accident on the $*&#?! Maryland Beltway.  After 45 minutes in the car it was obvious that I wasn't going to get there anywhere close to being on time.  I somewhat disappointedly turned around and drove home.  I thought, you know, why don't you just go to Wegman's (best grocery store in the country, bar none).  See what it feels like.  The worst that can happen is that I get looks.  I've gotten looks before.  Ok, fine.  Bring it on.

Since I am on spironolactone, I drink a lot of water.  And guess what... yeah, I REALLY needed to use the restroom.  Hmm.  Dilemma.  I decided to use the restroom in lieu of peeing my pants.  Get in and get out.  I went in and there were two teenage girls primping for a night out.  Doh.  Teenage girls.  I'm screwed.  I kept my head up, and the evil teenage girls looked up at me...

... and both gave me a smile.

Holy crap.

It would have been odd to *gasp* at them, so I prudently smiled back.  On the way out another woman was on her way in, and she gave me a smile as well.  Holy crap, a little more quietly in my head this time, and no suppressed *gasp*.  I got my little basket and a huge smile broke out on my face.  I walked around Wegman's for 30 minutes with half-and-half and a pizza in my basket, not wanting to leave.  Amazing.  Not one look, nothing.

I was so happy that I decided to go to the DSW across the way and shop for shooz.  I almost bought these, which are super-fun, and cute, but it was kind of an impulse buy.  So I will buy them tomorrow instead.  :P

So not only do I not need the wig, I pass better without it!!  Very exciting stuff.  I feel so much more authentic, natural, and myself with my own hair.  I'm very lucky that I don't have any hair loss... that's really a blessing.  I am done with the wig.  I don't plan on wearing it again.  How liberating.

Now, about those gray hairs....  ;)