accept. embrace. live.

I've been on hormones for just over 4 months. Have been on the full dose of 3.75 mg Premarin, 200 mg spironolactone for about 2 months. Before I started, I read as much as I could find on others' experiences. Here's my contribution after 4 months, for anyone doing her own research or for interested other parties...

• The emotions, oh my, the emotions. Holy cow. Much easier to cry these days... lots of times, especially in the morning, it will just hit me for no reason. I've cried more in the past month than I have in the past 25 years... seriously. I find that I am a bit more relaxed and calm^*, especially when driving. I'm much more inclined to let someone in, if someone doesn't "go" right when the light turns green I don't get all worked up, stuff like that.
• I've lost about 15 pounds. My body fat has remained about constant, so it must be muscle loss.  Was around 172 before starting.  Now am 157-158.  Would love to get under 150.
• My skin is softer. It is really noticeable on my arms. I LOVE this!! :)
• Speaking of my arms, the veins in them are a little less prominent.
• Libido... if it was an 100 before, now it is about a 5.
• I smell more like a girl. Other TG people who have been on hormones for a while will understand this.
• I sweat less than I did before.
• My body hair is growing more slowly. For example, I'd shave my legs in the morning, and by the evening they felt all stubbly.  Now, they still feel pretty smooth after 24 hours.  It's not any less dense or coarse. That will take some time.

Hmmm, let's see if I missing anything that anyone would be curious about. Nope, that's it.... can't think of anything else. Ok, bye.

Haha.

• Of course, the girls. They're doing what they are supposed to. If I am wearing a non-loose top, for those who know what's going on, they're obvious. I'm a bit sore. For example, if I brush a crumb off my shirt, it hurts.  If I hug someone, it hurts.  Never been so glad to experience a little pain.  :)  I'm a something-AA. I would be very fortunate to get to a full B. My therapist has had a couple hundred transgender clients, and she's never had anyone achieve more than a B naturally. For the amount of time I've been on hormones, I'm OK with where they are.

So far, HRT has done exactly what I had hoped it would do. Have not experienced anything that I consider a negative. As for the crying... well, it's a lot of crying, but that feels more like me.  I am *supposed* to cry more than a guy.  I'll go in for blood tests and another endo appointment sometime in August.  I don't think we will change the dose... I'm happy with what's happening, and the medical goal is to get the desired effects on the smallest dose that works for the patient.

Pretty amazing stuff!!  You can read and read about HRT until you are blue in the face, but can't appreciate it until you undergo it.  I think about what I'll be like a year from now, and it makes me smile.

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^{*This could be due to the reduced testosterone in my system, the fact that I am just happier now, or some combination of both.  No way to know, of course.  Probably a little of both.}