Told another person yesterday... my 5th so far... a good friend of mine who I've not seen in a while... she and I had a little flirtation about a year ago, that nothing came of. I've always considered her to be a great, great person. I can sum up her response with this quote...
"I think it's great that you've realized who you really are and can start to be comfortable with yourself. I can't even imagine what you've been going through... trying to figure out who you are, telling the first person, working on accepting yourself. I'm here to support you if you want to talk about anything... really.. anything. Don't be afraid to talk to me."
Yeah, she was someone who I thought wouldn't freak out on me, but when I got this back, it blew me away. We're getting together next weekend... she is a newlywed, so between that, and my stuff, we'll have lots to chat about. Looking forward to that. :)
The positive reactions when I've been out, the positive reactions from people I've told, the awkwardness I feel around friends, just make me want to keep telling people. It is so freeing. I spend most of my time these days rehearsing conversations with friends, family, work.
It's a good thing that I'm a hairy beast... that's kind of a built-in safeguard against moving too fast. I had my third full-face treatment the other night. I have mostly dark, coarse hair on my very fair skin, so it is working well so far on the non-greys. The greys, I am starting electro for next weekend.
And the voice. I won't transition until the vast, vast majority of this beard is gone, and I have developed at least a gender-neutral voice. I am starting "Voice Therapy For Persons In Transition" as they call it at GW, the first week in February.
Had my first appointment with my endo last week. Went well... the one thing that kind of sucks, is that I developed a clot in my calf after having Achilles tendon repair surgery on the same leg, back in March of this year. The surgery, and the fact that I smoked (please note the past tense here), is what caused the clot. But, to be on the safe side, not only do I have to get the usual battery of blood tests, but I also have to go to a hematologist to rule out a blood clotting disorder, which means another blood test and more delays, etc. I've wanted to go on hormones for at least 10 years, so what's another two weeks? But still.
So things are happening. Sometimes it feels like a snail's pace, sometimes it feels like breakneck speed.
P.S. I think it will be good when I am no longer counting how many people I've told. :)
Posted by
Faline
2 comments:
I've been following for awhile without commenting, but I just finished reading the kit and kaboodle, so it's time to spill.
You've come a long way in four months. I've been writing for two years and I'm still dithering about many of these things (though I get points for a more complicated situation).
You seem to worry some about the heavy tone of your writing. I say that it sounds like an accurate accounting of your current state. Being genuine is everything, and you can't fake it. Your writing is quite compelling, even when you ramble. Looking forward to the rest of your journey!
I certainly do ramble. I'm even aware of it when I am writing, but think to myself that hey, it's the way my mind is right now.
Thanks for following along. Always good to know that people are reading. :)
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