accept. embrace. live.

My first time out as me in public was last weekend.  Was such a good experience that I decided that I was ready to go again, this weekend.  I put a note in my (non-TG) blog about it, hoping that one of my friends who "knows" might ask to come along.  One of my really good friends, a relatively new friend, offered to come.  She and I really *click* on a platonic level, and she was the one that I was hoping might come.

So I got all dolled up, she came over and we had a glass of wine first, and the somewhat surprising thing was that we were both totally comfortable.  She said shortly after she came in, that I "looked beautiful."  I don't quite know about that, but it was nice to hear nonetheless.  I guess I shouldn't have been, but I continue to keep being surprised by things.  I keep waiting to have some sort of weird feeling, or get really weird reactions from people, or totally freak someone out, but it hasn't happened yet, which is good.  It will happen at some point, make no mistake about it, and I will deal with it as it comes.

Anyway, we went to the outlets... went to Banana Republic where she helped me find a cute top.  I definitely need to shop with GGs more often.  I keep waiting to get wide-eyed stares from people... hasn't happened yet.  Didn't happen last night.  The top my friend picked out, was something I wouldn't have picked myself.  But it looked really cute on.  I have so much to learn when it comes to clothes, etc.  Then we went down to 9 West, and my friend got two pairs of boots.  I could have easily bought a bunch of stuff there myself, but I don't really need any shoes right now, and I have to watch my money.

Then the next "first" was using the women's restroom.  The outlets were pretty much deserted at that point, it was a little past closing time, so it was more or less safe.  I'm not sure I'd be comfortable using the women's room when it is crowded.  Anyway... peeing sitting down.  Hmm, what to say about that.  All I can say is that it's the only time I've laughed to myself when I've used the restroom.  :)

Next "first" was going to Friday's after that for dinner.  Still not getting any stares from people (that I noticed anyway)... the hostess said said something like "hello, ladies" when we came in, which felt nice.  The overly-peppy waiter (think Brian from Chotchkie's) sat down right next to me when he first came to the table.  Once I opened my mouth, the jig was up, but he just kept on being his overly-peppy self.  As we sat there eating and chatting... what I was noticing, was that I didn't feel like Faline, or (insert male name here)... I just felt like I was being myself,  I wasn't acting feminine, or masculine, I was just acting like me.  So what I learned, is that I am totally comfortable and normal going out in public with close friends, and presenting as a woman, and I totally enjoy it.  But, I didn't learn anything further about "who" the real me is.  I still suspect I was holding back in terms of mannerisms, etc.
So, there you go.  Two chicks going out shopping and to dinner.  Normalcy.  Good stuff.