I heard back from my Mom yesterday... she sent me a short email. Basically she said that my letter was devastating... she loves me and always will... isn't sure what role she can play in this... is emailing because she doesn't want a debate, but thinks this is a big mistake, questions what peace and happiness can come from this, and of course she reminded me of the phenomenally obvious, that this will be a lot for my kids to deal with. And that was pretty much it. In about as many words. I am somewhat disappointed, but not surprised. I wrote her back and thanked her for letting me know where she is, that I appreciated it, and although I didn't want to get into this over email, when she was ready to talk, I'd welcome it.

Then I got an email from my Dad (not a coordinated effort, they've divorced) saying that he is having difficulty coming to terms with my plans and course of action. He is sincerely trying... but let's face it, it's pretty early in the game and it's not realistic that he'd be able to come to terms with it, as he puts it, so soon. He is coming down here in a couple weeks to see the grandkids.

As for my mom, I am somewhat "meh" about her reaction... in the sense that whatever she is feeling now, in the big picture, doesn't matter all that much. I need to be patient with her, and remember that we have the rest of our lives to work on this. I have to remember that her response is not coming from a place of hatred of TG people, it is coming from a mother who is very concerned about her child. It's hard to always remember that... I find myself stopping and counting to 10 a lot. :)

I'm not going to waste energy trying to convince them that this is the right thing for me. That's an impossible task. There are no words I can say, or books and articles I can have them read, which will accomplish that. My belief is the only way they'll see that it's right, is to see me as me, over time, see me happy and balanced as myself. I will educate them both about my present and my past, but not with the intent to "convince."

I had about a gazillion thoughts and emotions run through my head immediately after reading her email. The old me probably would have fired off a curt, angry response and exacerbated the situation. The old me probably would have started doubting myself. I did neither. I'm at peace with myself and it is gratifying to see it reflected at times like these. Makes me even more confident about my path.

So I suppose that where we all are right now was expected. Could have been worse, could have been better.


Well girl I know the feeling. They can say things like "This is a mistake" or "This is a sin" (my parents) but any excuses they come up with are really just that: excuses.

The real issue is that it's quite a change for them and getting used to it will take a lot of time and understanding. =(

*hugs* girl

<3 Jerica

((((((((((hug))))) I was pretty much the same as your mum when my son told me about the transitioning. The hestiancy and worry does come from a place of love,and its just that ,worry. we want the best for our kids,and changing something so radically that society doesnt have a lot of sympathy for, is scary. what will people say..not to me,i dont care about that, but to you, can it possicly make yuu happy,how ?these are some of the thoughts that wnet thru my head. we cant immediately see that you will ever be female,do you see? my 22yr old son is now my daughter and so much happier person and has changed appearance more than i could ever imagine.She told me she had to do this for her, to live her life as she was menat to. And i think it is hers to live, not my place to judge. i think as parents 30 yrs down the track we forgetr what it was like to really want and make plans etc,we're already living those plans.
You go girl, given time,she will deal with it.once things are a given,you'll be surprised.

Thanks. :) I'm trying hard to be patient and understanding and let family talk to me when they are ready. I can totally hear my mom saying "how can this possibly happy, how?" as you say.

Your words definitely help... thanks again.

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When I transitioned, there just weren't too many blogs out there written by straight, transitioned women. Well, here's one.

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