I remember when I started transition, actually before I started, I was trying to find information about Electrology 3000. I stumbled onto a blog that I read start to finish. It inspired me and helped me think that maybe I'd be able to transition. Somehow reading this blog made things real for me. So I, too, decided that I needed to write a blog, just as a diary-type thing. It seemed like every trans person had a blog, so the initial title of it was "the obligatory transgender blog." :) I didn't tell anyone about it. I remember being surprised when I got a comment. How on earth could anyone have found it? It freaked me out a little bit. Kept writing, and once in a while, maybe once a week, got a comment. Almost a year later, I came out on BT as well as being included on T-Central around the same time, and the hits started coming.
They're continuing to go up... each month for the last 5 months, I couldn't imagine how the next month would get more hits, and each month it goes up. Yesterday, there was a link to my blog posted on a site that I'm not a member of, and there were 487 hits today alone, the most I've had in a day. The last two months I've had over 4000 hits, each month. So far this month, I have 689 hits, after two days. That's crazy.
It seems like a lot for a non-activist trans blog. It's not like I'm advertising it, posting links to it all over the place, etc.. Once in a while if I feel I've written an important entry, I'll put it on Facebook, but that's it. I think I've done that three times. Anyway, it's a lot of hits, almost more than I am comfortable with. Earlier in the week, a friend told me that someone in real-life, someone he knows but I do not, recognized me when I was out with my kids, from my blog. Didn't necessarily freak me out, but it was a reminder that as long as I continue to do things like post pictures and the (very) rare video of myself, people will recognize me in real-life. Of course, that's not compatible with the life I want. I'm not complaining about any of this... when you have a public blog and when you are open about yourself, this is how it goes.
This blog has been tremendously helpful to me in many ways... mostly writing about things has helped me work through them, I've met a few wonderful friends who I imagine I'll be in contact long after the last suture has completely healed, and I'd like to think that the blog has helped others who once were where I was. I've also learned that I overuse commas. :) Ultimately, though, this blog needs to be about me and for me. For a while, it was true that I *needed* this blog... I don't think that's true anymore. I think that now, I like it, as silly as that might sound. Eventually it'll just be another reminder of a life that I'd just assume leave behind.
It's hard to imagine that once SRS recovery is over, I'll have much to say here. I hope I don't, anyway, because this is a trans-related blog, and the idea with transition is that one's life is supposed to evolve into a life which involves transsexual-related issues less and less. Over time, the entries will come less frequently, and at some point I'll stop altogether. After that I'm not sure what I'll do with it. I'm not there yet, though, so y'all with have to deal with my navel-gazing and pontificating for a little while longer. :)
7 comments:
Bring on the navel gazing & pontification, because all those hits mean one thing. You've touched the lives of many people, and have made a difference. I don't think you're the first one to think about the phase out, that appears to be quite normal.
Funny, I, never, noticed, excessive, comas,,,
I just can't see you abandoning blogging entirely. Maybe you'll start a new blog, somewhere else, that has absolutely nothing to do with the current subject matter, unknown to anyone here, and signed with a pseudonym. You seem to enjoy this too much.
And OMFG...that's a lot of hits. That's almost enough to sell advertising space for, but please don't do that.
Blogging is fun and that people read your blog means that your words are not just for you. That's an awesome feeling and I hope you appreciate that lots of hits, even out of curiosity, is just a sign that you are interesting and worth reading.
As for the commas? At least you... don't... abuse... ellipses...
xoxo
You have become an ambassador via the internet. As more TG look for resources and info, you have become an inspiration and a ray of hope for many people. Thank you.
BTW, it was nice talking with you yesterday.
Nova L.
AKA: Transgender
As a cisgendered person, your blog has helped me be more cognizant of my actions. I've also learned new things (e.g. 'cisgendered' Never heard of that until I read your blog.) And that makes me appreciate your entries all the more.
Maggyruth
I can relate, girl.
And since surgery, my blog has slowly started to become less and less about transition....weird! hehe.
@Debra... yeah, I thought of you when I wrote this, except add another "0" to the numbers that I was talking about. :) But your life is less about transition now, so it makes sense that your blog is, too!!
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