There is a support group for LGBT teens starting up in my county. The local paper had an article on it, and I was involved in a, um, let's say "discussion" on the online comments for the article. This comment from "Will Nilly" was aimed at me...

Teagee Baby…
A transgender woman? really? When did you have your first child? Was it a C-section or beaker?
Do you often go for laser hair removal over your lip and back? What about that lovely voice? Does it remind me of Betty White or Barry White?
The point is, you can wrap the outside all you want in clothes and make-up, cut and paste body parts but you are not and never were a woman.
I’m sure you are an awesome person, but you are a man by design.
Ta Ta…
Needless to say, I didn't respond as I'm not going to engage this Neanderthal any further. I don't know why I even commented in the first place. If I had responded, it would have been something like this... consider this quote from Julia Serano's Whipping Girl... (emphasis mine)
My femaleness is so intense that it has overpowered the trillions of lame-ass Y chromosomes that sheepishly hide inside the cells of my body. And my femininity is so relentless that it has survived over thirty years of male socialization and twenty years of testosterone poisoning...

... openly expressing one's femininity is not a sign of frivolousness, weakness, or passivity, it is a fucking badge of courage... trans women are fucking badass!

Incredibly empowering, no? Being a transsexual woman and living genuinely can be very empowering if you allow it to be. I'm too much woman for you to handle, Mr. Will Nilly. Don't attempt a battle of wits with me... you're not equipped for it.


Nice quote, Faline. (Teagee? I guess you're enough of a woman for him to patronize you.) This isn't an easy life and it takes a lot of courage to do what we are doing. Thanks for reminding me of that. I kind of needed it this morning.


And "Teagee baby," nonetheless!! Ohh, be-have!!

His comment underlines the stigma women live with all their lives, and suffer from most. "If you have hair growing out of your face, you had better bleach it and pluck it because women aren't permitted to have that" (give me a break).

"If you don't bear children, or are past childbearing years, or if you have your breasts removed because of cancer, and so on, you cannot feel like a woman anymore."

Nobody should be defined by such narrow-minded and callous thinking and commentary. Nobody should grow up with that sort of horse-dung shaping your mindset about yourself. Away with him and his kind!

The Serano quote is going up on my fridge! Thank you.



Did you give yourself permission to be yourself or do you allow those people to give you the option of being who they think you are?

That's a question most of us have lived with for quite awhile. I'm happy to hear the response of your heart.

You quoted from Julia Serano, who would probably say that you have experienced misogyny in full force. Clearly you are a woman! And a totally wonderful bad-ass. :)

"When did you have your first child? Was it a C-section or beaker?

Do you often go for laser hair removal over your lip and back?

What about that lovely voice? Does it remind me of Betty White or Barry White?"

Wow. By this definition, my bff Rachael is NOT a woman at all. She has dark hair and had a "mustache" removed from her upper lip! She also had 3 kids... "by beaker".

I have had no kids, "by beaker" or otherwise. I'd love to get my hair laser'ed, but I don't make it a priority, I just shave it. My voice? Is Betty White the female standard these days?

Jeez. I don't know how many people actually "qualify" as women according to this definition. I don't. Neither does Rachael.

What a narrow minded ass-wipe.

My guess is that person is a terribly unhappy person. Too bad.

God what a dick that guy was to say that.

As if fertility and having children make a woman a woman? Does that mean any woman who doesn't have children is a man? LOL idiot.

You're right. You scared the crap out of those haters. And I feel that in a way I instigated this. For what it's worth, I'm very sorry you had to see that. What it does, though, is it demonstrates to all why this support group is needed. And I talked about that (non-specifically) at the kickoff.

These are some remarkably stupid and frightened people.

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