I posed a question to the cisgender readers of this blog a while back, and I thought it turned out to be a pretty good discussion. I had a follow-up question, which I never asked. Ariel's blog on birth certificates and the accompanying comments reminded me of it. How do you feel about someone with male equipment, and moreover, being OK with having said equipment, having an "F" on their driver's license? Good/bad/indifferent? What about on their birth certificate? How would you feel about someone like me, a woman who has not had surgery yet, using the women's changing room at the gym? What about a man dressed as a woman?
I hear trans people talking about these issues on a daily basis, but I'm curious what others think.
I was having a conversation with a friend of mine, a couple months before her surgery. She's a swimmer. She indicated to me that she used the women's changing room at the pool. A pool which had a "family" changing area, with separate areas to change in. Yet, she used the women's changing room. I dunno. I would never consider using the women's room at the pool until after surgery. I don't know how to explain it other than right now, it would not feel right to me, and I feel it'd be disrespectful to the other women. It's interesting... I met her out one night for drinks, a couple months after her surgery, and she seemed depressed. I recall her saying something like, "I'm not even sure what the point of doing this (having surgery) was... it's not like my life is any different now." Kind of a stunning thing to say so shortly after this procedure. To say I'm concerned about her is an understatement.
With respect to legal documents such as passports, for example, I have an analogous line of thinking. The laws have changed here such that you can get the gender marker changed on your passport without having had surgery. A letter from a medical doctor stating that you've had "appropriate clinical treatment for transition to the new gender" suffices. I don't have a passport, and I need one to go to Montreal in November, so I applied to have the gender marker changed, since I might as well get it all done in one fell swoop. I feel a tad hypocritical. It will say "F" on my passport, but until I'm off that operating table, I won't *feel* completely female. Surgery is important. To someone like me, it's very important. A requirement.
Speaking of requirements, you might think I agree with those who say it ought to be a requirement for changing one's gender marker. The problem with this is that there are transsexual women who are not able to attain SRS. There are not many people who are truly not able to have surgery, but they exist. If you require SRS for a gender marker change, you eliminate any possibility of those transsexual women getting that "F" on their driver's license. Otherwise, yeah, I believe you ought to have had surgery. If anyone can codify that, let me know. :)
Anyway, enough of my prattling. So, what do you all think? I'm not going to out-and-out request that trans people refrain from commenting this time... BUT... if I see anything that even shows a hint of the TS/IS vs. TG wars, I will delete it. We've all seen it.
Posted by
Faline
6 comments:
mmmmpphmmmph....;-)
I admire your restraint, Anne. :)
But Faline, if I don't comment, I won't get a notification when the flood of real comments come in! (see how sneaky I can be) :D
"F" on driver's license : none of my business
Birth certificate: don't care either unless the "F" can cause harm to another person.
Women's changing room: A person like you I would not mind. Judging by your pictures you would not stand out as different from us.
Man dressed as woman:depends...how am I to know that she is a man? For me to know, she would have to tell me and if so, I won't mind either
unless she behaves as if she were in a man's changing room.
I am an open minded, non judging person and believe that everyone should live and do whatever makes them happy and should not give a flip what others think ...... :)
"F" on your DL, passport, birth certificate or anywhere else is none of my business. If you are living your day to day life as a women, dressing as a woman and the like ... your ID should reflect that no matter what is going on under your clothes.. Seems to me that not being able to have that would just cause confusion ... especially when you travel .. and if it were me I certainly would not want to have to explain something so personal in nature (and none of their business) to a complete stranger.
Changing room ... I would not mind you or any other woman like you being in there. I can tell you that I have never been totally naked in a changing room at the gym or pool. A lot of women do not prance about naked in the changing room ... if you and I were wrapped in towels in the changing room nobody would know what we had going on under there! :)
A man dressed like a woman? Depends. I have a friend that is a man that dresses like a women from time to time because he likes women's clothes ... he is not a gay man and he does not want to be a woman. I would not want him or others like him in the changing room with me. That is different than someone in transition and/or that lives as a women but has not had GSR.
Oh my ... I meant GRS .... not GSR which I just heard on CSI as "gun shot residue". My many pardons. :)
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