I went to an event at G's preschool tonight, "Spring Sing." I wrote previously about how I was banned from the school, and subsequently got the ban lifted. So it was nice to finally attend something. The kids' performance was cute, of course, and of course G. was the best one out there. (I'm serious! It's not just because I'm his parent, really it's not. :P)
I have to say that while I was very happy to be there for my son and loved watching him sing and dance, the little ham, when we first got there, it was pretty emotional for me, and not in a good way. Spring Sing is at the local high school, and their 300-400 seat auditorium pretty much fills up. I sat with my ex and S., and S. climbed out of her seat and sat in H's lap, leaving an empty seat in the middle, in which we put the coats. The woman on my right was talking with another woman to my left and in the row in front of us, so she was kind of talking across me, if that makes sense. I looked around at all the families, looked across the empty seat in between myself and my daughter and X, and started getting choked up. I was frustrated because I put so much mental energy into being there and now that I was there, I felt like this invisible person. I think I allowed myself to feel that way. I could have introduced myself to the woman next to me. I could have moved the coats and sat next to H. and S. Turns out that H. was wondering why I didn't.
I was a little concerned about how she (H) was doing, too. This was the first time for her that she was out in public with me, where there were people who knew her. My transition isn't something she's been jumping up and down to tell people about... she seemed relaxed and natural enough. I hope she was. I'm sure we'll talk about it over the next couple of days.
After the first couple songs, S. climbed across the seat and into my lap, and remained there for the rest of the show. When it was G's class' turn to sing, we all went down front and sat on the floor in front of the stage, so he could see us. Any bad feelings I had were wiped away when I saw that precocious 3-year old boy in his chef hat (his class was singing about cupcakes) smile, wave at us, and yell, "Hey guys!!! What's up?? Why are you on the floor??" To which there was quite a chuckle from the crowd. All the angst and tears and swallowing pride back from when they booted me from the school was worth it, for him to see the three of us, his family, front and center, to be proud of and watch him. He was so good and excited and proud to be up on the stage in front of all those people. :)
Afterwards, everyone goes into the cafeteria for cookies. I met G's teacher and a couple of the other teachers, and even Sharlene, my nemesis-turned-ally (kind of), stopped over to say hello. It was a little odd for me sitting there given the past troubles, not knowing the teachers, kind of being on the outside looking in again, but nonetheless, it was a good first foray back into this part of parenting. G. was so funny. At one point, I started getting uncomfortable again, and I told him that I might be leaving in a couple minutes. He looks up at me with his cookie crumb-covered face, chef's hat adorned with cupcake stickers, and his hand-painted chef's apron on, and says to me, "When we go, you go." So I stayed, of course.
And the most important part; really, the only important part, is that I was there with my kids, supporting them and cheering for them. Just like any other parent.
Posted by
Faline
11 comments:
I'm so happy for you and your family, Faline. What a great night for your son to have both his parents and sibling there for his big performance. I have so many performers whose parents never step foot in the theatre to see their kids in lead roles and I know the disappointment they suffer as a result. That you fought to be able to sit front and center for the cupcake song speaks volumes about you as a parent and a person. Your son will always appreciate what you do for him.
xoxo
Oh, and you're not just like any other parent. Most other parents are fairly terrible at it. You're better.
Just saying.
xoxo
Cupcakes! Yum! And I loved your son's response at the end.
You're still doing things for the First Time. It's never easy. It's also not easy in most places to have a family with both parents of the same sex. But it sounds like you did really well. Kudos to you!
It sounds like wonderful time. They're so darned cute when they're little. You just have to appreciate how the little ones love you - no matter what. It's so important to do stuff like this, even if it's a bit uncomfortable. Doesn't matter how you slice it, a person's happiness with themselves deeply tied to the energy they get from those people around them. Be near the people who love you and make sure to count yourself among them. Drink it in. I'm happy for you.
Faline, you rock! I know how hard the whole school thing has been on you, and I know a little something about being in an audience full of parents like that. Good for you! I love the title, just like any other parent, because you are, only better (:
Gee...I wonder if I will ever be "Un-Banned".
Good on ya for standing up for your self and your kids.
Oh please Anne! Is everything always all about you? Your being banned from T-Central, has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with Faline tragically being banned from her own child's school activities! To even bring the two up in the same breath, shows just how obsessed you are with yourself. You have no shame at all.
Gat a sense oh humor, Mel....or better yet, a better wig. ROFLMAO!
Sorry Faline. You deserve better that to have my little spat with Mel dragged over here. However "banning" IS 'banning" no matter the magnitude.
Clearly the pain and angst that you experienced in being banned from your children's school, (was that even legal?), is/was orders of magnitudes greater than my being 'banned from T-C. Nevertheless the motivations are the same. In both cases, those "powers that be" are determined to "protect" their charges from that "awful, politically incorrect" TRUTH. In your case YOU were that REALITY. In my case, it is the validity of my opinions and views.
Re: Clearly the pain and angst that you experienced in being banned from your children's school, (was that even legal?), is/was orders of magnitudes greater than my being 'banned from T-C...............Nevertheless the motivations are the same. In both cases, those "powers that be" are determined to "protect" their charges from that "awful, politically incorrect" TRUTH. In your case YOU were that REALITY. In my case, it is the validity of my opinions and views.
The first part of this statement is very true. There really is no comparison.
The second part is a complete rationalization.
rationalize |ˈra sh ənlˌīz; ˈra sh nəˌlīz|
verb [ trans. ]
1 attempt to explain or justify (one's own or another's behavior or attitude) with logical, plausible reasons, even if these are not true or appropriate : she couldn't rationalize her urge to return to the cottage. See note at lie .
@ Mel...GRRRRRRRRRRRR..........
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