I read some transwoman's blog last night where she said something like, and I am paraphrasing here... something like you're really only a transsexual if you feel like your only choice is "doing the change" or death. Like, unless you want to kill yourself if you can't live as a woman, you're really not a transsexual.

If that's the truth, I am not a transsexual. I'm not like this unhappy miserable person, I'm really not. I think this thing is holding me back from being as happy as I can be, or living to my full potential, or something. But I'm nowhere close to, nor have ever been, close to contemplating suicide. I've been a little depressed from time to time, but that's pretty much it.

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I am catching up so forgive me. As a person who did feel that way (contemplated doing myself in) I have some perspective on it. At least for me. First off use nobody else's yardstick. This is about you, it is not a competition to see who is more "trans". I reject these people, they are seeking validation for their own narrow thinking. You do it your way.

On the reasons for my own "event". I had come to realize I was indeed transsexual but could not resolve in my head how a transition would work. Thus I saw two options at that moment, end it, and avoid the likely embarrassment of my family, loss of love and marriage, loss of job and status, or transition and endure all of it as it may come.

As you can see I am still here but I finally told the story a year later in my LifeDay post.

Be you, forget the rest.

S.

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